Written by SamIAm
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 16 June 2016

image for This Election: George H. W. Bush To Vote For Tapioca Pudding - "Hooray for Twinkies!" Exclaims Former President
Bush claims that Clinton smokes weed with the Easter Bunny.

Shadow Lanes Senior Center - George Bush Senior announced today that in the Presidential election he would be voting for tapioca pudding.

"I believe tapioca pudding can protect us from dust-bunny attacks." Stated Bush. "According to my magic bellybutton lint John Wayne will be Vice President of rubber bands and Jesus will be Secretary of Constipation."

Bush's family claims that George senior is suffering from dementia and "just babbles on and on until you want to jump in front of a UPS truck".

Bush, however, refutes this claim by pulling down his pants and singing "Poker Face" by Lady Ga-Ga, then demands that they should send troops to Disney Land to stop bean sprouts from taking over The Pirates of the Caribbean ride.

"America needs a new leader that can change tires on the toilet," Bush said firmly."

When asked about what he thought of Hillary Clinton Bush yelled, "She steals old people's Jello and her husband fools around with JC Penny mannequins!" Then lifting his shirt he puffed out his belly and said, "I'm pregnant with Liberty! May God have mercy on my Twinkies!"

Hillary Clinton could not be reached for comment, but Trump continually texts Bush claiming his hair had become sentient, separated from his body and was hiding under Bush's bed waiting for the right time to grab hold of his dangling arm and pull him down to hell.

"But I have the Sacred Spork of Sanders," Bush stated, "and the Holy Socks of Chucky Cheese! DEATH TO PICKLED PIG'S FEET!"

Make SamIAm's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 3?

1 17 4 21
67 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more