Written by DontCallMeShirley
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Tuesday, 14 June 2016

image for Bernie Sanders successfully passes Kidney Stones, no longer "Feels the Burn"
Sanders after passing Kidney Stones

Senator Bernie Sanders released a statement the other day saying he no longer, "Feels the Burn" after successfully passing kidney stones. Sanders admitted that while he enjoyed his supporters enthusiasm, it was ironic and painful, to here them chant, "Feel the Bern" since he was literally feeling the burn while dealing with a massive kidney stone.

The Senator surprisingly compared his battle with kidney stones to America's battle with corporate greed, "The kidney stone is finally vanquished. It was the last 1% of the kidney stone that caused the majority of the pain and damage. Americans need to gather up the courage to expel the Wall Street bankers and crooks from power like I expelled the kidney stones from my bladder."

Sanders concluded that a political revolution is a lot like a battle with kidney stones. It is a long and painful fight that requires lots of determination and hydration.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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