Written by GProwler
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Topics: Republicans

Tuesday, 7 June 2016

image for Scientists Discover Human Race Inbred From Day One
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In a disturbing finding prominent scientists now believe inbreeding dates back to the very dawn of mankind; their work confirming that every man, woman and child is related to everyone else living or dead. And they say it is this common thread that binds us all together that is also responsible for the many inexplicable decisions and actions people make.

Prior to this study it was a widely held belief that with billions and billions of people passing through the course of humanity the 'crazy' would have long ago been diluted to the point of insignificance. Not so, according to the findings from a consortium of scientists, historians, sociologists and 911 operators.

It had been thought that only carnal relationships between immediate family members or close relatives were a cause of concern for diminished competence or health issues. However, using computer modeling and analytics which examined recorded history, DNA and Facebook it has been confirmed that the entire gene pool is polluted.

"The rise in the popularity of reality television and a never-ending series of senseless world events really jump started the study. Some of it just couldn't be explained away with what we already knew." said a prominent member of the panel who did not want his name used until the report is made public. "Well, this evidence goes a long way to help explain the stupid in all of us."

"Until now," the panelist said, "I couldn't understand the unraveling of basic common sense and judgment that I saw time and time again throughout history. The conclusions of this study, however, are hard to argue with. How else, for example, do you explain the modern day Republican Party.

"What this says is that there is fundamental flaw in our genetic makeup. Short of coupling up with aliens or another species we're not only going to make the same mistakes over and over but as a race of people don't count on a pretty ending."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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