Written by Mike Peril
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Monday, 6 June 2016

image for Trump Brings His African American To Rally
Cheadle poses for a Selfie

Washington, DC: Trump held multiple rallies today. At each rally he took his African American with him. Gregory Cheadle, a Republican candidate for the 1st Congressional District who lives in Happy Valley, California, was ecstatic to be the only African American on the Trump stage.

"I couldn't believe it when he called me his African American! . . . To give the black folk the time of day. . . I wanted to call him Uncle Donald," said Cheadle, in perhaps an indirect reference to Harriet Beecher Stowe's character, Uncle Tom.

At the last rally before sundown, reporters were banned from attending. Unconfirmed sources state that Trump pointed out other possible minority supporters as the crowd roared.

"Do I see any Hispanics in the crowd?" Trump asked, peering into the stadium with his right hand just below his comb-over blocking the sun from his eyes.

No one responded. "Well some Latinos, then, do I see any Latinos?"

One individual standing in the far back with a black and blue protest sign that stated "Trump's a Bigot!" raised her hand reluctantly. "There's my Latino!" Trump yelled out over the crowd. The protester looked puzzled but the crowd cheered.

"Do I see any cripples?" Trump continued.

A male Army veteran raised his left hand. The veteran had prosthetic legs. "There's my cripple!" Trump stated but the crowd grew less jubilant.

Trump nonetheless seemed to feel his momentum. "Do I see any Jews?" A gentleman from the first row confirmed aloud, "I'm Jewish." Trump responded, "There's my Jew!"

With increased enthusiasm, Trump asked if there were any Muslims at the rally. No one responded. "That's because we won't let them in!" Trump laughed, and a few members of the crowd laughed as well, uncomfortably.

Finally, Trump called out, "Are there any idiots among us?" The crowd looked around and wondered how to respond. One by one, each of the members in the crowd, other than the protesters, raised their hands.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie stood behind Trump with Trump's African American Cheadle, and both Christie and Cheadle raised their hands as well, but sources now state that neither Christie nor Cheadle could hear the question.

"Well at least you are all my idiots!" Trump laughed, and the crowd grew more silent and suddenly started to leave.

The final rally ended at sundown, with taps heard in the background, the sun setting behind purple mountains, American flags listing from their poles. Trump stood before his "idiots" as they left the stadium. Trump was said to have been smiling broadly on stage, right arm extended and large right hand held high, waving in the air, with Christie and Cheadle looking befuddled.

In related news, esteemed Republicans throughout the country continue to formally endorse Trump. Next up is New Mexico's governor Susana Martinez, America's highest ranking GOP Latino, who is expected to announce her endorsement shortly. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan tweeted his support, as did war hero Senator John McCain, among many others who have "fallen in line" in lockstep fashion.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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