Written by DontCallMeShirley
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Wednesday, 1 June 2016

image for Trump Threatens New Season of Apprentice if Not Elected
Trump holding up his favorite number

Donald Trump made another bold statement the other day that sent shivers down the spine of many Americans. Trump held a press conference yesterday at the grand opening of the first Trump pancake house, IHOT, otherwise known as the International House of Trump.

Trump declared, "This is America's most important election ever. Clearly I am the smartest and most manly candidate running. However if Americans somehow don't elect me then unfortunately it looks like I'll have to do another season of the Apprentice. If I can't make America great again, I guess I'll have to settle on making TV great again. "

Many Americans who previously said they would never vote for Trump are now starting to reconsider. Jose Canyousee, a Mexican American, admitted, "I never thought I'd vote for Trump in a million years, the guy's kind of a racist and is full of more hot air then a a hot air balloon. However I don't know if I can survive another season of the Apprentice. I may vote for the asshole just to prevent that disaster of a show from returning."

As far as the IHOT's food is concerned, like many of Trump's statements, it is delicious at first, but then often leads to indigestion and later self hatred for indulging in something that is clearly very unhealthy. Trump is expected to open up several more IHOT's in key swing states to capitalize on American's strong support of brunch.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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