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Friday, 27 May 2016

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2016 US Presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton, has been asked to forego her candidacy to become the CEO of Yahoo.

Mitch Felon, the current board chairman of Yahoo made the announcement yesterday evening at a charity fundraising event for Hillary's new legal PAC called Get Out of Jail Because I'm a Woman With Ethnic White Boy Privilege Foundation International Union or WEBEFinU for short.

Mr. Felon stated that "Mrs. Clintons creativity in distinguishing what works and what does not work and her legal ability to engage in deep discussions about what is and what is means to benefit her interests is of much interest to those of us who are interested in learning her skills in avoiding what is typically catastrophic for the common citizen without such advantages."

Mr. Felon was also interested in Mrs. Clinton's financial know-is-all-ness. "It is not often that public servants can turn low paying positions into hundreds of millions of dollars for their own interests. politicians only earn tens of millions of dollars while performing their low paid public servant duties. Mrs. Clinton was able to turn her brief low paid positions into hundreds of millions of dollars.

Mr. Felon added "Mrs. Clinton has literally been tested under fire in Bosnia by snipers and mortar rounds. We have all seen the video where she and her daughter calmly walk through the assault as if nothing was happening. Being calm and collected, avoiding giving away secrets or trade secrets and being able to show concern that all shareholders and workers matter at all times are great qualities in a CEO who could ultimately be responsible for billions of bits of information through thousands of Yahoo servers per day."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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