Written by Dr. Billingsgate
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

image for Vince Foster's Skeletal Remains Found In Hillary's X-Rays

BILLINGSGATE POST: Adding more fuel to the fire of Donald Trump's off-hand remark that Vince Foster's suicide back in 1993 smelled fishy, the National Archives just released copies of Hillary Clinton's X-rays that showed that her stomach contained skeletal bones that forensic pathologist, Dr. norberT Trebron, claimed were part of the remains of Vince Foster.

Dr. Trebron, who received his degree from LaFontaine College, himself is an interesting gentleman. As any casual observer might note, his first and last name are mirror images of each other. With his office located in Beverly Hills, he is known as the Forensic Pathologist to the Stars for the casual demeanor he displays while dissecting the organs of fallen Hollywood legends.

Hardly a stranger to controversy, he gained his spurs by proving that Cary Grant could not have bitten the neck of Greta Garbo with her own false teeth. In a trial that gained world-wide attention, Dr. Trebron suggested that Greta Garbo, more than likely, bit her own neck with her own false teeth. Gary Grant, he postulated, had his own ersatz choppers to worry about. This was reported to have occurred while the two actors were fighting over top billing in a one night stand at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

But back to Vince Foster: Vince was a Deputy White House Counsel during the first few months of President Clinton's administration. He was found dead in Fort Marcy Park off the George Washington Parkway, outside Washington, D.C., on July 20, 1993. Although his death was ruled a suicide by multiple official investigations, those who didn't accept this theory were legion. These people are often referred to as part of the Far Right Conspiracy.

With the release of Hillary Clinton's decades's old X-rays by the National Archives, it didn't take much more than a casual glance by Dr. Trebron to determine that the hand resting in the stomach of Hillary Clinton had Foster's college ring on one of the fingers. In legal terms, this is called prima facie evidence. A wise guy might say Foster got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

In his forensic report, Trebron concluded that it's not unusual for someone to bite the hand that feeds them; however, it is highly unusual to swallow it.

NEXT CASE!

Make Dr. Billingsgate's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 4?

5 16 15 24
50 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more