Written by Glenn Wilson
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Tuesday, 3 May 2016

The Chicago Organization of Making Chicago a Better Chicago or COMCBC is tired of the rising crime rates. The fight seems to be going nowhere so the COMCBC is trying a different tactic by adopting the old saying, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

COMCBC Spokesman Nathan Caldwell said that their organization voted 8 to 1 to allow gangs to have a say in community projects. "We feel that by letting these people have a say in their neighborhoods it may lessen the tension on the streets. We will start with subtle changes, and proceed from there."

One Gang, The Shit Be Real Posse, has already signed up for the name your street project. Posse Spokesman One Eye Death Roll told us that "we don't know who the fuck these people be. Like Rosasita Lane. Who is Rosasita Lane? I never heard of dat bitch."

The street name project is just the beginning, if successful the COMCBC will push forward with other projects in the future.

The unveiling of the the street names will be this Saturday at noon. The ceremony will be at the former intersection of Rosasita Lane and Franklin Drive. The new intersection will now be Shit Mother Fucker Boulevard and I 'll Put A Bullet In Yo Ass Drive.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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