Written by Gail Farrelly
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Tuesday, 26 April 2016

image for President Andrew ("Old Hickory") Jackson Visits NYC
Front or back of the $20 bill? Big difference, claims Jackson.

When he found out he would no longer be on the front of the $20 bill, President Jackson was NOT a happy camper.

St. Peter gave him a one-day earth pass (apparently the first of several), so Jackson could vent about this disappointing news.

First stop: Grand Central Station, where Jackson, looking fit and wearing a Revolutionary War uniform, held a press conference and did not mince words. "I'm furious," he told startled commuters, "All these years on the front of the $20 bill, and now I'm being replaced."

When asked about his replacement, Harriet Tubman, Jackson shrugged. "It's a new age," he griped. "Women get everything."

Jackson continued voicing his feelings about being moved to the back of the $20 bill, "There should be a law against getting demoted AFTER death. It's not fair, you're not around to defend yourself."

After pausing for a long sigh, he added, "Next they'll be saying I can't be called Old Hickory anymore. It's probably not politically correct. But y'know, I just have to keep focussing on something I said when I was alive: I was born for a storm, and a calm does not suit me.

Then Jackson made his way to the exit, followed by hordes of screaming commuters begging him to autograph their $20 bills.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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