Written by King David
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Topics: Airport, X-Ray

Wednesday, 6 December 2006

image for Backscatter X-Ray Machine Malfunctions- Floods Internet With X-Rated Pictures Including You Know Who
The machine reveals incredibly graphic detail

Authorities say that one of the Backscatter X-Ray machines at Sky Harbor International Airport malfunctioned today sending pictures of a whole database of naked passengers onto the internet.

Eye witnesses who were online at the time said that all of a sudden their computers crashed. After they were booted back up again, pictures of all the passengers were available on the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) national website.

The Backscatter X-Ray machine is a new device currently used in airports that takes X-rays of passenger's entire body in "incredibly graphic detail" and was featured earlier this month in an article by Buck E. Filbert of the Spoof Magazine.

Authorities working for the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) said that they were unsure how many of the pictures actually made it onto the website, but sources say the number was in the thousands. It was said that among the group of naked pictures was a picture of Britney Spears.

Ms. Spears was traveling from Phoenix earlier this week to Hollywood for an appointment with her gynecologist who thought he spotted some lesions on her privates after pictures of them were shown on the internet, and then on to New York City where she was scheduled to be a guest on the David Letterman Show. Ms. Spears was going to show off her dancing pussy on stupid pet tricks.

"I have like really worked with her to do these dances," the enamored Spears told reporters. "She can dance the bolero, the rumba, the salsa and the tango. She like really is a talented cat."

A spokesperson for Backscatter said that tests were on going trying to determine the exact cause of the malfunction, but seemed to think that the problem could have been as simple as having the cable connected to the wrong port.

"We're still trying to work out all the bugs," the spokesman said. "Our workers are not rocket scientists you know."

Ms. Spears had no comment and seemed disaffected by the incident.

Transportation industry specialists say that a probe is currently being put into the investigation to try to expedite the process. Meanwhile, passengers who had their naked photos displayed over the internet are trying to minimize their embarrassment through laughter and reading The Spoof Magazine online.

"It sure feels good to laugh at someone else for a change," said Wanda Price one of the passenger's whose picture was displayed.

TSA officials report that if this trend continues, they will have to change their name to the T&A authority.

Representatives from Slim Fast, Overeater's Anonymous and other companies that produce dietary suppliments are capitalizing on the opportunity.

No word was out as to when the machines might be fixed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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