New York -- The presidential candidates came face to face with the essence of Earth Day, The five dug their own graves, were covered with soil, and settled down in a contest to see who could last the longest in an embrace wih Mother Earth.
"No need to worry about safety,"said Dave Fabest, director of stunts and dirty tricks for the federal election board. "These graves are as shallow as the candidates."
The idea was to avoid more debates which amount to recitations of the candidates well worn stump speeches.
"You can call this a dirt debate," the official noted. "The contestants are six inches under and they have to breathe through the soil.They don't have the air to make long winded promises".
Before entering their graves, the competitors discussed their chances to win...
Said Bernie Sanders: "As long as there is one percent oxygen in the dirt, I will prevail. I've made a good livvtng going after the one percent."
Asked Clinton: "How many millions are you paying?""
Noted Ted Cruz: "We used to do this in Transylvania all the time.".
Trump said: " And you're good at lying."
Said John Kasich: "How come I'm always last?"