Written by mikewadestr
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Friday, 22 April 2016

image for Cellphone Ads Totally Confuse Rockville Man
Please don't bite me!

Rockville Maryland coleopterist, Elroy Cricket, decided it was time to get a new iphone and in his endeavor he would let the world know exactly which iPhone network was the best.

Unfortunately, Elroy didn't watch too much TV, until now, so he never understood how misinformed he was when it came to iphones and pretty much everything else that was advertised on TV.

He watched one commercial promoting the Felizon phone network which claimed to be connected to the most, wild tigers in the world. As a matter of fact, they claimed you could whisper to 80 percent of all wild tigers worldwide, including those who have just eaten someone.

Then there was the ad for the network Elehphintz, who claimed their network would allow you the means to trample anyone who really pissed you off.

Of course we should never leave out the Whitesharkz network which claimed: "you will lose a little bit of yourself every time you make a call. If you stay with us long enough, which you will, you will end up losing and arm and a leg".

There was an ad for the Aardvarkzon network, but, honestly, who wants a network that spends all day eating bugs instead of looking at them.

In the end, Larry decided to go with Whitesharkz because the other two were just too unrealistic. Larry is no idiot, what iphone provider allows you to talk to man eating tigers or summon up enemy trampling elephants? Everyone knows when you sign an iphone contract you are giving up at least an arm and a leg.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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