Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Topics: Hillary Clinton

Friday, 15 April 2016

image for How Guccifer Hacked Hillary Using Woodpecker Code Reverse Sequence App
Pecking Away

BILLINGSGATE POST: Guccifer, the maniacal Romanian hacker who accessed Hillary Clinton's private E-mail server, will be extradited to the United States shortly.

In the April edition of The Hacker's Handbook, Guccifer describes how he first cracked Hillary's code while she was furtively consulting with her mysterious guru, Sydney Blumenthal.

Using an arcane App downloaded from, How To Spy On Your Neighbor Using Ornithology, Guccifer described to FBI agents how he used a reverse sequence Woodpecker App to break into Mrs. Clinton's server.

To the casual observer, the monotonous nodding of Hillary's head while she pecks away at explaining why she doesn't give a rat's ass about what happened in Benghazi might appear innocuous. However, as Guccifer explains, this tendency is not random. Using the Woodpecker Code Reverse Sequence App previously mentioned, he was able to algorithimically do what he called a "Quasimodo shuffle."

By humping together Hillary's pecking sequence, reversing its numerical values by a predetermined inorganic value, he was able to crack her Blackberry code, thereby enabling him to view all of her personal and State Department correspondence in real time.

NOTE: This information was gleaned from anonymous sources close to the FBI, CIA, the State Department and President Barack Obama.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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