Written by Paul Blake
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Sunday, 27 March 2016

image for Trump Measures Up Front Of White House For Big 'Uge' Sign
Trump poses for the mural he plans to have painted directly on the front wall of the White, right under his sign.

Washington, D.C. - With his Republican Presidential ticket all ready pretty much punched, a self-assured Donald Trump and an elite team of 'big sign' installation experts made a quick trip down to the White House in Trump-Force One this week, to measure up the front of the old place for a big 'uge' sign. Of course, the sign will say... what else? 'TRUMP.'

"Actually, it's really the old sign that we took off the roof of the boss's failed casino in Atlantic City," told one of the installation experts, who wished to remain anonymous, for fear of getting his ass fired by his overbearing boss. Apparently, the big casino signage has been sitting around in an airport hanger, just off the New Jersey Turnpike, collecting dust since the gambling parlor went belly-up, which, the tool-belted employee emphasized, 'was not his boss's fault-at all!' "The boss has been looking for something to do with the sign since it was placed in storage a few years ago, and was getting really sick of paying for it to just sit there, doing nothin'" told the employee. "So, I guess, he thought, why not stick it on the front of the fricken White House! And we were all like, 'sounds like a great idea, boss!'" 'He also wants to plow under Michelle's 'feel-good' vegetable garden on his very first day in office and put in a nice par 3 golf hole, where he plans on conducting most of his business,' added the employee, before being summoned away by a loud, obnoxious voice.

No word yet exactly where the failed slot-machines from the former Jersey casino are going to be installed, but it's safe to say, that if you're planning a visit to the White House any time after January twentieth, 2017, you should probably bring a big plastic bucket full of quarters with you.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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