By wild acclamation, Republicans have elected Batman to run as the party's presidential nominee.
Donald Trump, claiming that he owns Gotham City, railed against the convention's decision. "I bet Batman's dick is just, full-throttle, 2 inches long."
Superman, who is ineligible to run because he is from Planet Krypton, has agreed to head Batman's Defense Department. "Hell," Mitch Mcconnell boasted, "Watch ISIS heads really roll with Superman on the job."
Among organizations, only the National Rifle Association opposes the nomination, fearing that, with Batman at the helm, gun control will be inevitable. Not surprisingly, the Democratic nominee, Hillary Clinton, is now vowing to fight any form of gun control.