Washington DC - (ReUterus & AssoCIAted Mess): George Bush has denied reports that he frequently uses the White House hot line to call his mentor and spiritual guru General Pinochet about the sort of practical advice that only one seasoned dictator can give to another.
The news follows Russian press reports that a Chilean guiding hand has been behind every career decision that the President has ever made.
But cynics in neighbouring Khazakstan pilloried this assumption by quoting their own secret service dossiers which state that 'Chilean' and 'Pinot Grigio' are more appropriate as the driving forces behind the reputedly teetotal born-again Bush clansman.
The White House administration has always vigorously defended Bush's sobriety even during the 'Pretzel' incident when the President was accused of falling off a bar stool in the West Wing's staff room.
But details of his phone bill have now been ring-fenced in a Department of Homeland Insecurity force field that bypasses any Freedom of Information requests and also covers his MySpace! blogspot.