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Thursday, 10 March 2016

image for Debbie "Blabbermouth" Shultz To Put Hillary's Head In Hermetically Sealed Bubble

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a last minute, face saving development, Democratic National Chairwoman, Debbie "Blabbermouth" Shultz, asked CNN to hermetically seal Hillary Clinton's head in a bubble before her next debate with Bernie Sanders so that she can't meltdown when answering questions about Benghazi and her bogus Email server.

Citing the Nixon Doctrine as precedent, Democratic advisers to Clinton pointed out that facial issues probably cost Richard Nixon the election to John Kennedy in the first debate ever shown on live television.

To preclude further fermentation during the debate, Hillary advisers are demanding that the bubble not only be hermetically sealed, they are also asking that the temperature in the bubble be lowered to minus 20 degrees Fahrenheit so that she does not sweat so profusely.

Smelling a rat (genera Rattus), Sanders countered with a proposal that would lower the temperature to minus 120 degrees, hoping to freeze dry Clinton's brain before she could lie about Benghazi and her Email server once again. Research has shown that the Splendid Splinter, Ted Williams, has not changed his position on any subject since his brain was cryogenically frozen at that temperature some years ago.

NOTE: As is its policy, the BILLINGSGATE POST will stand behind this story with no caveats or carve-outs, other than advising readers that providing journalism unabridged, uncensored, and most importantly, without proof, is a thankless mission.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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