Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Monday, 7 March 2016

image for Hillary Blames Coughing Spasms On Bernie's Popcorn Farts

BILLINGSGATE POST: A mere coincidence. I think not. On "Face the Nation" Sunday, John Dickerson asked Hillary Clinton about the coughing spasm she had in the last debate with Bernie Sanders. Hillary responded by saying, "John, I would rather not talk about it."

"Mrs. Clinton, I believe you owe the American public an answer. They want to know if there is something wrong with you that might prevent you from serving your term if you are elected president."

With her head bobbing like a woodpecker on steroids, her chicken lips forming into a perfect O and her beady eyes rolling like two bowling balls on a collision course, she replied:

"If you really want to know what caused that spasm, it was those popcorn farts Bernie Sanders was squeezing off that caught me off guard. I think that old bastard might have shit his pants it was so bad. In the next debate I'm going to demand that he wear an adult diaper if I have to stand next to him."

For those of you who might have lost track, this is the second time a debate as been disrupted by popcorn farts. In an earlier Republican debate, Donald Trump accused Jeb Bush of likewise squeezing off popcorn farts, causing the Donald's eyes to water and the albino raccoon on his head to throw up all over the podium.

Although Trump suggested using this negotiating tactic in his seminal book, The Art of the Deal, even he said that it had no place in a presidential debate. Both he and Hillary agreed to take using popcorn farts off the table if they were to meet in future debates for the presidency.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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