Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Thursday, 4 February 2016

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Man of Year

BILLINGSGATE POST: President Barack Obama, wearing nothing but a loin cloth and a full Cherokee Indian headdress, made from real eagle feathers and leather, was featured on the cover of FAUX NEWS as Native American Man of the Year.

In an earlier edition of the BILLINGSGATE POST, Wile E Coyote, on his first assignment with FAUX NEWS, reported that a student who identified himself as Chief Bear Ass (Who Sings) Obama applied to Columbia University in 1981 after transferring from Occidental College.

After first applying to Columbia University as a Muslim student born in Kenya, he discovered that Columbia had already filled its quota for Black-African born Muslims. Not discouraged, Obama re-applied as a Native American by phonetically changing his name so that it it sounded more Native American.

Practicing the stealth that Indians are known for, Chief Bear Ass went about his business so clandestinely that not even his roommate was aware that he was there. Until FAUX NEWS crack reporter Wile E Coyote hacked Columbia's computer code by dropping a 500 pound, all-purpose ACME anvil on the Records Office, it was presumed that Chief Bear Ass (Who Sings) Obama was just another dope-dazed student unable to find his way in the urban jungle confines of Columbia University.

Still posing as a Native American, he defied all odds by being admitted to Harvard Law School where he distinguished himself by being the first Native American to be named Editor of the Harvard Law Review.

It was only after moving to Chicago that he decided to turn in his loincloth and headdress to resurface as a Muslim. Nonetheless, the editors of FAUX NEWS believe he served as a fine example of Native American ingenuity and was a credit to his race for what little time he was a member, thereof.

NOTE: This is the second FAUX NEWS report from the desk of Wile E Coyote. More to follow.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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