Written by K.C. Bell
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Wednesday, 27 January 2016

image for Hillary Clinton Picks Joe Biden As Her Vice President

Hillary Clinton announced she's picking Joe Biden as her Vice President running mate. Naturally, Bernie Sanders is shouting foul, as he defended her on her emails and using the bathroom during the last debate.

"Thanks, but you're not getting the Vice President position."

Just a year younger than Bernie Sanders, but with those veneers, tan and ban-ray sunglasses, Joe could pass as Bernie's son. Joe also knows politics. He stopped the bleeding during his debate four years ago against Republican Vice President candidate Paul Ryan, (following Obama's napping session during his first debate with Mitt Romney).

Joe is said to be thrilled. "Means we don't have to move. Sixteen years in one place, does that give us squatter's rights to keep the place once Hillary's gone?"

That's a second constitutional question experts will have to research. The first is Canadian born Ted Cruz's insistence he is a US natural born citizen.

Wrong.

But no one wants to drop the net on Ted Cruz. Cruz became a US citizen in 2005, and he claims he's had dual citizenship since born in Canada. So there! The whole thing has been settled. No more questions and let's get on with the election.

Canada, not necessarily an authority to ignore, announced that there is no such thing as dual citizenship in Canada.

Trump was rumored to have asked: "Can't the guy understand English? So Canadians say hooose and we say house. Tomato, tomato, potato, potato, they're good people up there, but they don't speak our language. If immigrants don't learn our language, they can't assimilate into American society. But even if they do learn the language, immigrants can't run for President. They're immigrants! Maybe Cruz should run for Prime Minister of Canada. Ship him back to Saskatchewan or wherever the hell he came from. So he has anchor children. So what?"

Meanwhile, Joe Biden is happily unpacking, and Bernie Sanders is ticked and threatening to run as a third party candidate. That would give the White House to Trump.

"Whoa, Nelly," said Joe. "I've already unpacked. Maybe we can appoint you Secretary of Grump."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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