Written by Orvis Talbot
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Friday, 22 January 2016

image for Sanders unveils plan to allow America to be annexed by Russia
Feel the Bern

Burlington, VT - Today, Sen. Bernie Sanders unveiled his plan to allow the United States of America to be annexed by Russia should he become President.

"It would not cost us one penny" said Sanders, "and what would we gain? Free healthcare, free education, and the Russians would take over responsibility for our military around the world."

"Think of the other benefits" said Sanders, "we could send all millionaires and billionaires to Siberiia, you would have many more places to travel to...I hear the Crimea is a wonderful place to visit in the summertime."

Sen. Sanders also stated that we could combine our 2 countries histories and would love to see Lenin Day celebrated here in the United States. "He was a great man. I celebrate it every year by making the Romanov Family piƱatas, filling them with borscht, and letting the children beat them with clubs and baseball bats."

He also thought a combined KHL/NHL would be a "no-brainier".

When asked who the leader would be, Sanders said, "Putin & I would flip a coin".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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