Written by Woodpile
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Monday, 4 December 2006

image for Geico Caveman Suing Spoof Writer
Led to the demise of the dinosaurs

Dewey County, South Dakota - Local ABC News affiliate WCMN reports today that the Geico Caveman has filed suit against The Spoof writer Woodpile for defamation of character. The suit is in response to an article written by writer Woodpile which suggests that drug use by early man, specifically cannabis, may have led to the extinction of prehistoric animals and birds.

According to the article, after using the controlled substance, early man succumbed to the side effect known as "the munchies" and this led to the demise of dinosaurs.

The Geico Caveman, speaking at a press conference from his dwelling, stated that there is no proof of the drug use and that the charges levied against him and his kind are, "the same kind of lunatic rantings that catapulted him into the public eye in the last couple of years."

The Caveman told the press, "This article is total BS, (That's Brontosaurus Sh*t). I am sick and tired of having to explain to people that we are not the mindless grunting Cro-Magnons that everyone is trying to make us out to be. First they say we are stupid, now this, where will it end?"

Grod Gabockham, a spokescaveman for the pro-caveman group, Cave Dwellers International, went on to say that his organization is prepared to take on the legal costs for the Geico Caveman. "It is a crying shame that in this, the Century of the fire and ipod, we still have people out there who can not accept that cavemen are here to stay. We simply want to hunt and gather in relative peace and obscurity. We will not rest until the resistance against our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, goes the way of the dinosaur - not that we had anything to do with that."

When asked to make a statement, Woodpile said, "They just need to relax man." This was followed by gurgling and coughing sounds over the telephone, and dial tone.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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