Written by Lyndon
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Topics: Donald Trump

Thursday, 31 December 2015

image for Third-graders nationwide enraged: experts reveal that Donald Trump speaks like one
Third-grader Artie Boulder chuckles while listening to a Trump speech.

Harfold, Vt. - Third-graders across the United States are enraged by a study using the Flesch-Kincaid grade-level test which showed that Republican presidential hopeful, Donald Trump, speaks like an eight- to nine-year-old boy.

Artie Boulder, a third-grader at Harfold Academy, was frustrated after viewing a YouTube of Donald Trump addressing a crowd.

"I don't know whether to laugh or cry," said Boulder. "Listening to him carry on reminds me of the crap we deal with every day on the playground."

In particular, Boulder sited Trump's rather wide third-grade range of vocabulary. According to the Harfold nine-year-old, words that Trump used in his YouTube speech such as "losers," "total losers," "haters," "dumb," "idiots," "morons," "stupid," "dummy" and " disgusting" were just used that day on the playground.

"A third-grade kid named Bub was gonna beat up some friends and me today and he rattled off a bunch of words to insult us. I said to the kid, 'Man, you sound like Donald Trump!'

Boulder suddenly became quiet, but then added, "Wrong thing to say. The kid went ballistic."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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