Written by Dr. Billingsgate
Print this

Thursday, 24 December 2015

image for Rogue Robotic Gerbil Attack Delays Hillary Debate
Rogue Gerbils

BILLINGSGATE POST: Secret Service agents, joined by ACME/Wile E Coyote Pest Control, are still searching for the rogue robotic gerbil that allegedly attacked Hillary Clinton during her restroom break this past Saturday night.

Just as Mrs. Clinton was sitting down, she claims one of Bill's pet robotic gerbils jumped out of her purse and sought refuge in her ample behind. Her intermittent screams and giggles evidently alerted her Secret Service detail, who broke down the door to the restroom only to be confronted by what Agent Anita Silver described as a "hysterical Hillary Clinton cornered in a stall by a rogue robotic gerbil about the size of a small rat."

Although most gerbils are fundamentally peace-loving in their natural state, ACME spokesperson, Wile E Coyote, says that sex toy manufacturers have listened to the demands of customers who want "an even more vigorous experience." By combining a vibration sequential with an emotional humanoid interaction, the little devil can be both charming and considerate, offering advice and capable of prattling on and on while making small talk as it carries out its programmed mission.

Explains Wile E Coyote:

"This is not some slapped together toy of a robot. It's the first convincing semblance of a step toward combining artificial intelligence with the fantasized 'ultimate' in lower alimentary canal enjoyment."

"ACME/Coyote Pest Control takes this incident seriously. We will continue to work with the Secret Service to capture this critter before he spills the beans regarding his encounter with Hillary Clinton."

"Trust me. We will get to the bottom of this."

Make Dr. Billingsgate's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 4?

9 16 17 21
44 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more