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Friday, 18 December 2015

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Recent examination answers from U. S. high school students again demonstrate their ongoing mastery of American history and the effectiveness of U. S. secondary education. Here is a sample selection of the best answers.

George Washington got the Potomac basin by trading for it using beads with local natives. That's why they call the Capital's team The Redskins.

The Declaration of Independence grants us freedom from personal responsibly 'n' the right not ever to be grounded by tyrant parent rules.

Abe Lincoln was a love child of hot sex 'tween Henry Clay 'n' Harriett Beecher Stowe.

General Eisenhauer won the Sivil War by beating Sam Houston at the battle of Six Flags Over Texas.

General Patton kicked ass on the Nazis but then was killed by Bill O'Reilly.

The Marshall Plan was Marshall Matt Dillon's scheme to secretly rob the Dodge City bank and take gold to Canada with Miss Kitty.

VietNam was a war fought by President Andrew Johnson, who was later impeached by the Student Radicals led by Tom Hayden and Hanoi Jane.

"Tricky Dick" Nixon worked hard at the Watergate to take the Plumbers Union national & Bob Woodwords rote about it.

Jimminy Carter had hostages captured in Iran by the Aiyootollah that were later escaped by Ben Affleck.

President Ronald Reagan created Star Wars movies and then was killed by Bill O'Reilly.

Bill Clinton won the Cold War by shagging in the White House with Russian babushka-exKremlin guards that were exported there by Putin.

George Bush got us into a Iraq war. That wasn't cool. President Obama got us out. That was totally cool. It's better now. I hope he's not killed by Bill O'Reilly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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