Written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw
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Sunday, 6 December 2015

image for NRA Demands Tighter Controls on Body Armor Sales
Level the playing field!

NRA spokesmilf Sierra Paylin caught the first available flight to San Bernardino (She even spelled it right!) to address the press with regards to an issue that has been bugging the NRA for years:

"How is it possible for any deranged nut in this country to legally purchase body armor?" she demanded. "This makes it impossible, when they exercise their constitutional right to go on a homicidal rampage, for good, honest, God-fearing, Bible-thumping, Bud-drinking, apple pie eating, pistol-packing American citizens to stop them with a well-aimed .38 caliber bullet."

"What madness!" she continued. "Everybody knows that the good guys always pack better weapons, always fire first, never miss, and never cause any collateral damage! The proliferation of body armor tips the balance in favor of the bad guys!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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