Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Ears, smart phones

Monday, 16 November 2015

Anna Mae McCorkle, a prominent citizen off Louisburg, NC was rushed to the hospital this morning after collapsing at the local Walmart. The Franklin Times is reporting that she was taken to Wake Med in Raleigh as all of the doctors in Louisburg have day jobs hanging drywall.

Mrs. McCorkle is known locally as always having her Smart Phone held up to her left ear at all waking hours whether driving, shopping, even talking to others nearby or standing at the checkout counter. The only time she does not have it at her ear, according to the Times reporter is when she is texting. "Friends say she has become obsessed with the instrument," according to the Times article.

Mrs. McCorkle's husband is the Reverend T. J. McCorkle, recognized as Louisburg's most vocal proponent of the Evangelical churches. He was rushed to the hospital by a county official. When he arrived he was immediately taken to the ER where staff members explained that although Mrs. McCorkle was now resting comfortably, her condition was serious and perplexing.

Evidently Mrs. McCorkle's face was contorting, her tongue moving constantly in her mouth. It was then that they realized she was texting and when they procured their cell phones they read, "LOL! OMG! This is a hoot! I'd send you a selvie from here but I don't want you to see the bare walls! HA! HA! HA!"

According to hospital staff, when the Reverend McCorkle entered the room he rushed to her bed side, took her in his arms and whispered in her ear. It was then said a staff member, McCorkle collapsed screaming...."NO! NO! NO!"

The Reverend McCorkle is currently in a mental unit of the hospital. After being sedated he told his personal physician what he had heard when he bent closely to Anna Mae's mouth. It was: "Halooooo T. J.!"

The Franklin Times reports the Reverend McCorkle will not resume his pastoral duties in the near future.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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