Written by Amiko Aventurista
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Tuesday, 10 November 2015

image for Death of Cecil The Lion Forces National Geographic to Close
Lion

The world's leading nature magazine, National Geographic, announced it will publish its last edition in December.

The announcement has startled the publishing world.

Circulation of the National Geographic has increased 6% every year for the last three years and revenues remain strong, however, according to Chief Editor, Antoinette Farger, it is time to halt production

"There are no more remaining natural places or wild animals left on Earth. The world is paved with monotonous subdivisions, people eat at chain restaurants, and the planet overrun by pigeons. Hasn't anyone noticed, that the lion on the front cover of the March edition was Cecil, and we used him in 1998, 2002 and 2007?

"He was the only lion left in the African savannah and that dentist from Minnesota went and shot him right between the eyes. What a jerk! Now we don't even have Cecil to pose for us. It's time to call it quits while we still have a smidgen of journalistic integrity."

Approximately 500 people working on the "creative" side of the magazine will be laid-off.

Ms. Farger explained that for years National Geographic has employed an army of graphic designers, IT animators, and science fiction writers to imagine wild animals in natural habitats.

"I feel horrible for our fantastic crew working with Adobe Photoshop and Corel Paint Shop software, the IT team of animators, and of course our great writers; they are the best! They did a great job of using their imagination and made millions believe natural places and wild animals really exists but it's over. Hopefully they can be reassigned to our sister journal-NASA Today."

Ms. Farger suggested the magazine might re-emerge under a new brand and publish stories reflecting today's environment.

When pressed for specifics, she listed a few possible articles the new magazine could publish, including: Stay Cool, It's Only Global Warming; How to Keep Cool While Denying Global Warming; Cities are Natural Places Too; or, perhaps, Who Needs Wildlife Anyway!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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