Written by Amiko Aventurista
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Thursday, 5 November 2015

image for Chickens Strike After McDonald's Announces All Day Breakfast
striking workers

Shares of McDonald's stock fell 18% after traders learned that the recently introduced all-day breakfast menu was causing serious labor problems for the world's largest restaurant chain.

Trading was hectic on the big board, driven primarily by institutional investors. At one point, the New York Stock Exchange halted trading of McDonald's shares in order to stabilize the situation. However, the attempted failed because all the technicians and traders were at the golden arches.

According to industry insiders, McDonald's faces serious disruption of key supplies. Reports are circulating that the International Union of Egg Layers (IUEL) has voted to strike effective immediately. The Egg Layers are demanding increase wages, better working conditions, Obama health care, and full pensions after producing at least 500 eggs. A sympathetic sister union, Roosters For Reasonable Reproduction (RRR), is making similar demands and threatening not to cross the picket line or enter any hen house.

IUEL spokesperson Laura Chicarelli, made the union's demands very clear in a written statement. "McDonald's expects us to work for chicken feed and produce eggs day and night. Do you know what does to the body? We call it the Grand Canyon affect! That's why we need Obama care--to stitch us up. And, McDonald's needs to understand that after dropping 500 eggs we're done".

The possible labor unrest has left McDonald's scrambling for possible alternatives, including duck, quail, even ostrich eggs; all of whom work at non-union factories. McDonald's spokesperson, Smith Carrington III, tried to reassure investors and the public. "We are confident that recent labor issues will be resolved soon. We don't want to poach the issues nor to fry our relationship with the egg layers. I believe this will be settled faster than you can peel an egg!"

No word, whether the egg layers will take similar actions against other national fast food restaurants.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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