Written by D P Whitehead
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Topics: Shopping

Saturday, 24 October 2015

image for Thrifty shoppers causing supermarket chaos
Some Fruit - Which Look Like a Penis & Two Balls

Thrifty shoppers spurred by the growing economic downturn are finding new ways to save mega bucks at the grocery store checkout; however, some stores claim that the "penny wise" consumers may see an increase in prices should supermarkets be forced to employ more staff to clean up after shoppers.

Customers have discovered that when buying bananas, oranges, and other fruit and then peeling them while in the store reduces the weight at the checkout, with a peeled orange costing on average 1 cent cheaper than one with its peel intact. Bananas work out cheaper by an incredible 3 cents per pound.

Apples, with their stalks removed, weigh considerably less than apples with stalks in place and peeled potatoes can, over many trips to the grocery store, save cost conscious homemakers over 50 cents a year.

A pineapple, if cut open, diced and the shell discarded weighs 75% less than if purchased whole.

Many shoppers are now arriving at their local grocery stores armed with not only a shopping list but with peelers and sharp knives.

However, some stores have expressed concern over the new fad.

"While perfectly legal, is resulting in a lot of messes, and a safety hazard. We have to employ extra staff to clean up the residue left in the fruit and veg departments, with peelings, pips and stalks dirtying up aisles and creating a slushy mess all over the floor" complained one perplexed grocery store manager.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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