Written by Joe Ogburn
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Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Las Vegas, Nevada - At the Democratic debates in Las Vegas last night, the closing question posed by moderator Anderson Cooper was a unique one. Each candidate was given 90 seconds to identify the enemy they were most proud of making during their lifetime.

Most of the answers were expected. The coal lobbyists, National Rifle Association, Wall Street, and Republicans were all mentioned. One candidate stood out, however. Jim Webb, former Senator from Virginia, said that his greatest enemy was a man who tried to kill him in Vietnam. A man who, as Webb ominously put, "is no longer around." That's right. A politician admitted to killing a man on national television.

The waves of Webb's comments extend far beyond the Democratic Party. In fact, GOP frontrunner, Donald Trump, is now expected to reveal all the people he has killed. A spokesperson from Trump's campaign released the following statement minutes after the debate was finished.

"Mr. Trump was moved by Jim Webb's courage at the Democratic debates. Because of this, he will be granting an exclusive interview with Fox News on Thursday in which he will release a full list of all the people he has killed."

Donald Trump voiced a follow-up on his Twitter page.

"Yeah, I've killed a lot of people. It'll be really great to get this off my chest. Just fantastic. All thanks to the courage of @JimWebbUSA"

Mr. Trump does not anticipate any legal action to be taken against him after his confession because he claims, "Most were just Mexicans and other illegals. Who cares?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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