Written by Presh
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Topics: Old People

Sunday, 27 September 2015

image for Woman Never Happier With Her Walker
Maggie, in unhappier times.

84 year old Delan, FLA resident Maggie Walton will be the first to tell you that she's never been happier with her walker.

Having suffered from debilitating osteoarthritis and a slew of other ailments that would cost too much to print, Walton has been singing the praises of her four-wheeled mobile mate for some time now.

In addition to assisting her over gorge-like sidewalk cracks and thresholds the size of speed bumps, Walton has utilized her walker's storage compartment to stow her purse, tissue packages and restaurant napkins, coupon clippings and god knows what else.

She has also proved resourceful in using her walker in a pinch as an improvisational stool, coat rack, and a place to set her chips and dip to stay hands free at senior center socials.

"Honestly, my walker is my best friend," she declared cheerfully as she crept forward slower than god-damn death.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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