BILLINGSGATE POST: At a raucous tailgate party before the football game between the Iowa Hawkeyes and the Iowa State Cyclones Saturday afternoon, Donald Trump was asked what he was going to do to identify the 11 million illegal aliens who now live in the United States.
Taking a page from Joseph Heller's best seller, Catch-22, Trump said that, "he would have the gums and toes of every illegal alien painted purple with gentian violet solution, give them a laxative and send them back to Mexico."
"I can forgive, but I can't forget how our country was taken advantage of by the much smarter politicians in Mexico. Our president is an absolute idiot who couldn't negotiate a two-way wife swap if he was given the pick of the litter."
"The first thing that I will do when I become president is have the White House tented. After I move in I will have the mattress in the Lincoln Bedroom scuttled. There probably is still vermin left over from the Clinton years. Everything goes!"