Written by Gail Farrelly
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Sunday, 13 September 2015

image for President McKinley Disgusted to Lose His Mountain
What's in a name?

Former President McKinley returned from the dead (he was assassinated in 1901) yesterday and held a press conference in NYC's Grand Central Station. He wants the world to know how disgusted he is that the U.S. has changed the name of North America's highest summit (it's in Alaska) from Mount McKinley back to its original name of Denali.

"I get no respect," McKinley said, with a tear in his eye. He continued, "Hello, I took a bullet for you folks. But Americans couldn't care less."

He went on to explain that he figured a mountain would last forever, so he had never feared the "loss" of Mount McKinley. A mistake!

"What's in a name?" shouted a smartass in the front row.

"A lot, a lot," said McKinley. "Listen, eejit, you'll understand when you've been dead for more than a century like I have."

With that, McKinley dashed off to attend some Fashion Week festivities. Rumor is that he thinks if he dresses better, he may get his mountain back.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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