Written by Nicola Macdonald
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Saturday, 29 August 2015

Donald Trump's toupee has insisted in a recent press conference that Donald Trump is, in fact, a real person.

'Many people seem to think he's a comedy character or even a figment of their imagination' said the toupee, 'but he's actually real and he is 100% genuine in his presidential campaign.

The toupee, which has adorned the head of Donald Trump for almost twenty years, has been with the businessman-turned-politician through the highs and the lows of his career.

'If Trump wasn't real I would have noticed, I'm with him for almost sixteen hours a day' the toupee argued at the packed press conference.

When asked why it has taken until now for it to come forward the toupee cited a 'misguided loyalty' and a sense that it 'owed Donald a debt for giving me life.'

When journalists questioned why a inanimate object such as a toupee could suddenly acquire the power of speech the toupee revealed that Trump had in fact sold his soul to the devil, and that the toupee had been inadvertently given sentience during the process.

When asked what it thought Trump's chances were in the 2016 elections the toupee was unambiguous in its response.

'Oh I think Trump is just a mildly irritating and worrying side show to the main event. Team Hillary all the way!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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