Written by Jean Le Fete
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Saturday, 29 August 2015

image for Dead Sewer Rat Out Polls Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden Against GOP Candidates!!
Dead Rat Ronald Ratan Out Polls GOP

After Joe Biden's numbers against the GOP frontrunners shocked many for a man who has yet to make a speech, many thought the Democratic party would be satisfied. But to everyone's surprise in steps...er perhaps thrown in, a dead rat dubbed Ronald Ratan has upstaged Joe Biden's anticipated entrance into the race. Ronald Ratan a dead sewer rat has taken off with the latest national poll against GOP hopefuls beating Donald Trump 55-29 percent. He beat Bush 51-32 percent and gets 49 percent to Rubio's 36 percent.

Ronald Ratan has taken the Democratic Party by storm, without making a single political speech. "He's so charismatic," said Eunice Hinklemeyer of Cedar Rapids Iowa, "When they dragged him through here the other day by his tail, I said to my husband,'There goes the next President of these here United Stakes".

Republicans have railed against the idea of a dead rat for President. Donald Trump said, "All rats are rodents! They've been sent here by Mexico to exploit our sewers and make them uninhabitable by our homeless people. I will deport all rats back to Mexico when I get elected! ON DAY ONE!"

"Wermin!" said George W. Bush from his home in Houston, "Rutton, stinkin' wermin!"

Fox News Megyn Kelly interviewed Ronald Ratan, in a far reaching interview covering many topics and came away with a much more positive outlook. "Well unlike most of the GOP candidates, when Ronald Ratan says nothing, he....really says nothing. When Trump says nothing, it takes him a minimum of a ten minute non-stop tirade."

Ronald Ratan will be in Iowa this weekend at a fundraiser in Des Moine. His spokes person has said he will be working mostly at decomposing his next speech on immigration.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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