Written by tprasad23
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Friday, 14 August 2015

image for New App Will Call a Party-Goer to Crack Your Smart Phone Screen in Authentically "Cool" Manner
I'll give you the crack that you need.

New York, NY- Today, the new "CrackIt" app was officially launched to much fanfare, it's an app that provides users a "socially legitimate phone screen crack" on-demand. The app was bolstered by an impressive $2 million dollar seed funding round, led by the CPWM (Cool People With Money) Venture Capitalist group. After being launched in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Chicago, the app has already received over 10,000 downloads, and shows no signs of easing its pace.

CrackIt CEO, Premnath Shah said the idea grew out of his constant envy at parties and social gatherhings where the attractive, hip and mainstream would be constantly showcasing and discussing their cracked iPhone screens. He recounts his feeling isolated and left out, left to stare at his clean, fully un-cracked iPhone. Shah said, "I knew I could never have a party life style that could legitimately yield a cracked screen, but there had to be a way to have an authentically cracked screen, one that I could share proudly to really fit in."

According to the CrackIt website, the app is easy to use and with a single tap, will send over a carefully vetted and verified party goer, with established social credibility in today's "competitive social arena." This individual will inspect, then crack your screen in a "naturally cool way" that is nearly indistinguishable to the common observer. The screen crack is "guaranteed to increase social status" or you'll receive 50% off your next crack.

To support their claims of increased social status, CrackIt held numerous laboratory tests in which groups of seasoned party-goers were asked to identify a "CrackIt" screen crack vs. a natural, organically achieved screen crack. The test group correctly identified the CrackIt phones only 8.4% of the time. One of the test group members speaking anonymously, said, "I've been to over 200 clubs, dance parties, raves and after hours parties. I've also gone through 4 phones by cracking their screens. I literally have seen and done it all, and I literally couldn't literally tell the literal difference between them!"

CrackIt offers different styles of cracks, each with a different style and root cause. Their most popular is the "Drunk Phone Drop," and others include, "The Bar Room fight", "The Breakup Throw", and something they simply call "The Special." When pressed for further details on "The Special", CEO Shah became reticent and merely said, "That's like asking Coke for their formula! It's our secret sauce, Lindsay Lohan gave the special the thumbs up, it doesn't get any better than that."

What's next for the skyrocketing app? Shah says a future development is in process to offer accompanying stories for how the phone became cracked. These stories again are carefully constructed by veteran party goers, and customized to the customers needs. The stories provide to exacting detail the manner and circumstance in which the phone was cracked, and the coolness involved in achieving the crack. Once the stories are constructed and sent, the user has the option to share them on any social network, to immediately increase their "social value."

Shah said the stories provide an extra validity to the cracked phone, and would be of great value to those who are unable to conjure up credible stories on their own, either due to lack of time or lack of knowledge. He added, "When I came to America, I wanted to make sure we all had an equal chance to be socially agile and 'cool,' if this app even brings us a step closer to that, I've done my job."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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