Written by K.C. Bell
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Thursday, 30 July 2015

image for Chorus Line Of GOP Candidates For President
Better than Greyhound!

There is a chorus line of candidates running for the GOP nomination for President of the United States. Miraculously missing are both Rudolph Giuliani and Dick Cheney.

Everyone else seems to be in the running including Governor Woops (now sporting heavy black rimmed glasses), the Water Boy, The Hair, The Canadian, The Preacher, Shock and Awe's brother, The Union Buster, The Jersey bridge Governor, dismissed Hewlett Packard executive, John McCain's friend Graham, out from behind the staircase Jindal, the neurosurgeon, the eye surgeon, and the sweater-vest guy who doesn't believe in using any birth control ever because, like Monty Python's Meaning of Life song: 'Every sperm is sacred!'

The trice married husband of the wife who writes children's books about smart elephants might get into the race to help promote the sale of his wife's current children's book about smart elephants.

Who knew so many Republicans had such an overwhelming desire to live in public housing? Yes, Air Force One is part of the deal, but so much noise for a white house and a plane? So they get a twenty-four hour chef. Switch on the Food Network, and the cooking (like summer) is easy.

The slew of Republican candidates make up quite a chorus line, but they will fail to give the New York City Rockettes any competition, unless they decide to wear the Jack Nicholson hospital gown from the film Something's Gotta Give.

Like landing a golf ball on a hotel balcony during the British open at St. Andrews, The Hair went totally out of bounds by accusing Vietnam veteran Senator John McCain, (imprisoned for five years at the Hanoi Hilton) of not being a hero. The deluge that followed rivaled the rainstorm during the British Open.

"No one comes to my defense when they make fun of my hair," complained The Hair. Like The Hair's hair is comparable to John McCain's honorable service to the nation.

The first GOP debate is scheduled for Aug. 6th, but the election already started. Only the top ten will appear.

It's safe to say, The Hair got in by a hair.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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