Written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw
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Sunday, 12 July 2015

Former NAACP activist Rachel Dolezal has reportedly hired the late Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon, Dr. Avrahim Schwarzgoy, to perform a race-reassignment operation on her.

"She's always felt herself to be a black soul-sista trapped in a nerdy white woman's body", said Schwarzgoy in an interview. "With the appropriate corrective surgery, accompanied by counselling, I'm sure that she will begin to feel a lot more comfortable in her own skin."

Added his colleague, Dr. Floyd Sigmund, who will be in charge of post-operative counselling, "Racial identity disorder isn't just the delusion of the week. It's a real neurosis having its roots in fetal brain development. Though surgery may seem like a radical step, Dr. Schwarzgoy and I agree that it is the best option for our patient."

The doctors agreed that for individuals on the mild end of the racial identity disorder spectrum--for example, white boys recording a rap version of "Hava Nagila"--counselling alone is usually sufficient.

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