Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Tuesday, 7 July 2015

image for ISIS Blames ACME For Road Runner Escape

BILLINGSGATE POST: What goes around comes around. In a round-about-way that is. ISIS USA affiliate MSNBC released information today that the Road Runner has escaped from ISIS due to compromised equipment purchased from the ACME Corporation as part of the Obama Lend Lease Agreement signed this past March after a lengthy negotiating session with Secretary of State John Kerry and ISIS head chopper, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

Kerry, a highly decorated Navy veteran whose main claim to fame was single-handedly wiping out a brigade of unarmed chickens while commanding a river boat during the Vietnam war, spoke highly of "little al." "Other than for his interesting penchant for burning men in cages and chopping off heads, I found him to be quite normal, almost as if he were just another undergraduate that you would find in Yale University's Skull and Bones Society, of which I was a member."

The escape of the Road Runner due to the malfeasance of ACME issued equipment should not surprise even the casual observer of hundreds of Road Runner cartoons. Too many times, just as Wile E. Coyote was ready to unload an ACME issue anvil on his archenemy, the anvil fell on the beleaguered coyote instead.

As Dr. Billingsgate once said while rummaging through his drawer of twelve Doctorates:

"It's not what you know that counts. It's who you know."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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