Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 28 June 2015

image for Space Station will run out of toilet paper in five days as SpaceX rocket bombs on takeoff
The ISS outdoor composting lavatory seen here on the right is out of commission

Cape Canaveral, Florida - Disaster has struck a supply ship servicing the International Space Station completely destroying the vital payload that included one year's supply of toilet rolls.

Elon Musk's SpaceX rocket exploded on liftoff vaporising more than 5,200lb (2,360kg) of supplies along with an 'absolutely priceless' signed first edition of Buzz Aldrin's Lunar Memoirs bound for the ISS outdoor lavatory bookshelf.

The catastrophe struck on the Musk's 44th birthday as the Falcon 9 rocket soared (sic) to 25 feet before bursting into a massive ball of flames over Florida.

It was the entrepreneur's third failed attempt this year to get it up for the ISS astronauts who NASA reported as being confined to emergency Russians - er, rations! - of only two changes of adult diaper per day.

The hex began last October when a SpaceX Antares rocket blew up on the launch pad in Virginia on Halloween.

Then last month a SpaceX Russian Progress rocket spun out of control before smashing into a chunk of Comet Lovejoy.

Musk is said to be firing his current team of space astrologers who he reckons are responsible for recommending the three disastrous launch dates based on the position of the planets.

And other vital cosmic stuff.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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