Written by Martin Jaeger
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Topics: Barack Obama

Thursday, 25 June 2015

Today, President Obama has fired his entire secret service security staff guarding him.

Recognizing that he would be unprotected from predators, the president stated he felt safer without them.

The president said that there have been many killings of men of color recently, without provocation, by law enforcement officers who contend there were provocations.

The president is afraid to go out in the Rose Garden because he may be apprehended by a member of the secret service, who will, based on trumped up grounds, shoot him.

The president said, "I'll go outside to smell the roses, and some dumb secret service guy is going to say I reached for a gun, or I threatened him, or something like that, and shoot me. I may be dumb, but I'm not that dumb."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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