Athens -- One of the world's most beloved pieces of comedy is about to be irreparably changed, the result of Greece's monetary woes.
The proper response to the classic riddle -- What's a Greek urn? -- Is no longer "about €35 an hour."
The punchline has been changed to: "none of your god damn business, you international banking parasites."
The change was made and voted unanimously into the comic domain by the Greek Parliament. "Those foreign money grubbers thought they could use this comic treasure as an interrogation device," said Finance Minister Darius Throckmorton. "Well now the joke's on them."
Asked if he felt a bit of remorse tampering with a comedy classic, Throckmorton replied that change is "what keeps the funny fresh."
"We Greeks may have the funniest jokes, but the people with the best sense of humor are those bean counters who gave us billions of euros without ever imagining how we would pay it all back. How is that for laughs?"
"Now stop me if you've heard this one," Throckmorton continued, grabbing a microphone from a reporter's hand.
"No, WHO Is the World Health Organization. This is the International Monetary Fund. We want our money!"
Questioned if the strategy was to deflect creditors with comedy, Throckmorton explained that Greece was only following the lead of world superpowers like the United States.
"Take Quantitative Easing. Now there's a fiscal joke worth repeating. You pick up the slack by printing trillions of dollars, feeding them out through the bankers who made the mess in the first place.
"We would've done it here in Greece, but we can't afford to buy a new printing press or any more bankers."