Written by Martin Jaeger
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Topics: Pope, church, Bishop

Monday, 15 June 2015

I have observed over the years a despondency with some of our parishioners when their prayers have failed them. Sometimes they prayed for rain and got snow. Some have prayed to win the big Lotto Jackpot, only to do so, and find they have lost the winning ticket. Others pray they catch a fish and come home empty-handed--except they stop at the fish store and buy a bass or flounder, so they can tell their wives and kids they were successful and proceed with a whopper of a fish story.

Why has this happened?

Some believe it was because they were not facing East, or West, or what ever direction they were aiming for.

Others believe they lacked the right technique in crossing themselves and may have gone the wrong way, whether up or down.

No, my friends. It's not that. I find it's the lack of a prayer partner. It's as simple as two voices are better than one. You've heard that expression before haven't you? If you haven't, then you've led a repressed life...but we'll discuss that another time.

Selecting a prayer partner will bring you better prayer results. The concentration power of two is not one plus one, but the power of two time pi squared over the diameter of a cube.

Let us help you find a partner. Just fill out our simple questionnaire so we can match you with the thousands of prayer partners who have signed up.

Some of the questions are: "At the beach, you'd be more likely to rent a surfboard and take a lesson from a pro or would you round up a bunch of kids and teach them how to body surf?"

Another question is,"If lost in a jungle, your first impulse would be to yell to others for help or take out your machete and start hacking."

My favorite is, "Your idea of a good meeting is one that ends with a concrete plan of action or there are no good meetings?"

Let's start praying, pardner.


Wisconsin Universal Prayer Ministries

Michael Quamb, ordained prayer specialist

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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