Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 9 June 2015

image for Rafael Correa caught fracking - no, wait, hacking! - into Nicola Sturgeon's ovulation-tracker phone app
Now gargle with carbolic

New York - The President of Ecuador picked up the scent of the ScotsGnats Leader's ripening sunny-side uppers during a UN hog roast in honor of FIFA.

And now he's got Scottish eggnog all over his face.

Sturgeon, on a four day fat-finding mission to the Big Apple, was spotted trolling for a shag at the UN reception having just uploaded the latest must have time-of-the-month-tracker phone app.

The one that nudges your iWatch when it's time to buy more Tampax.

Known in her native Glasgow Gorbals trailer trash district as Fish Face the 45 year-old Scottish separatist bowel movement head is said to have 'a soft spot' for Ecuador's socialist president.

A pity that boil is inside her brain.

Last Passover a well placed Mossad source claimed the pair had been caught in flagrente delicto on a World Steal Organization beano in Western Ukraine.

"The share a love of stealing crude oil," our-man-in-the-grubby-Mackintosh said.

A barrel of PetroEcuador-sponsored Scottish Marker Crude retails at around fifty five cents.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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