Written by Frogmarsh Peterson
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Topics: Police, Neverland

Friday, 28 November 2003

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It'll take more than a red wig to fool people, Michael

NEVERLAND, CA - Police searching Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch have stumbled upon more shocking news concerning the star's fondness for children.

In a secret room that could only be accessed via a wooden door in his bedroom, or 'wardrobe' as Jacko calls it, a Ronald McDonald costume was found.

Police have to assess whether Jacko wears it for private use or whether he poses as McDonald at kiddies Birthday parties and McDonald's restaurants.

"I think it's highly likely that it will be used for perverted means" claims chief detective Kiefer Bonoparte, LAPD.

If accusations made ten years ago can be verified then it would appear that Jacko used his Ronald costume to gain entrance to a private function at an LA McDonald's. It was reported that a Ronald McDonald clown had fondled the pert hineys of grade schoolers while they coloured in pictures of that Burger Burglar and those furry things.

McDonald's claim that to the best of their knowledge they have never employed a 'Michael Jackson' at any Californian McDonald's outlet. It was reported however that they did employ a 'Peter Pan' and that it was him who was working in the outlet at the time of the alledged incident.

Investigators have also found a Peter Pan costume, a red thong with MJ printed on and a hole cut into a wall with the words 'Pull for fairy dust' written above it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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