Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 24 May 2015

image for 'A Beautiful Launderette' numbers man found RIP in back of Yellow Cab
Gory scenes in New Jersey tonight

New Jersey - A topnotch mathematician thought to have been the inspiration behind the movie 'A Beautiful Launderette' has been found in a deceased condition inside a crashed New Jersey cab.

John Doe Jr and his wife Jane, both 103, were in the back of the Ford Crown Victoria when it crashed into a guardrail - on what was Queen Victoria's historic 196th birthday.

Scene of the crash investigators said the pair had been flung around the cab's interior because neither had been wearing a seatbelt.

Doe famously won the 1994 Noballs Peace Prize for money laundering solutions in emerging markets - later immortalised in a much hyped Oscar-winning movie starring Russell Doe.

Pals at his Princeton alma mater said this morning that the mathematician had struggled with paranoid schizophrenia 'and other complex prime number scams'.

Professor Stephen Hawking is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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