Amman, Jordan - (Associated Mess): President Bush's presidential plane Scareforce One had to be quarantined today in the Jordanian capital Amman after CIA tests for Polonium 210 located traces of the toxic material on board the craft.
The investigation was carried out after countless British Airways and Aeroflot planes tested positive following the airline industry's equivalent of a routine urine test for contamination with the sushi-derivative substance linked to the London poisoning of ex-KGB colonel Alexander Litvinenko.
Bush himself was examined by a team of security experts today who reported finding him 'no more nor less toxic than usual' - spook-speak for average dry drunk raving bonkers.
And in London today, a plane of the Queen's Flight which had just dumped Prince Charles in the Nigerian capitol of Lagos for yet another totally pointless royal visit was also found to have traces of the radioactive toxin on board after one of the royal corgis managed to slip a wee one on the carpet after stowing away on board in Charles's hand-luggage.
Now all the Queen's Flight are being tested including the newly delivered Blairforce One.