Written by Paul Blake
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Thursday, 7 May 2015

image for Republicans Roll Out Carly Fiorina Robot
Carly Fiorina Robot Before Skin Was Attached.

Atlanta, GA - On Tuesday, the Republican Party rolled out it's new robot candidate, Carly Fiorina. The unveiling of their newest, multi-million dollar invention indeed seemed to fool a lot of TV viewers into thinking it was human, but the folks over at Fox News, who got an up-close look at the new Presidential candidate, weren't so convinced.

"There was just something in her eyes that wasn't quite right," said anchorwoman, Chastity Stone, who is quite used to interviewing stiff and robotic-like droids. "But she was different. I swear she (it) was being controlled by a short man wearing an expensive suit over in the corner of the room," added Ms. Stone, who speculated that the man sure looked like Carl Rove in a fake mustache. "Then the robot's jaw started opening and shutting uncontrollably, which is also not out of the ordinary for a Republican - but no words were coming out," explained the bewildered anchorwoman.

We followed the short man, in the nice suit, with his evil Carly robot, out to the parking lot after the interview, where we watched him fold the candidate in half and place her into the trunk of his car.

"Listen," said the short man, with his false mustache half hanging off, when approached. "This robot ins't ever supposed to win the race for President. It's the worst looking, malfunctioning piece of crap we've ever built. All it's supposed to do is get Democrats so mad that we'd even consider running such an unlikeable candidate, that they turn off their TV's and computers until after the election is over. We figured with this model here, plus we're gonna dust off the Herman Cain-bot too, it should be a slam dunk."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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