Hillary Clinton set out on foot across Iowa yesterday from her Des Moine Hotel. Her goal: Find the little people everyone always talks about.
"Well you don't know how people are until you actually meet them and I'm not going to step on those little people's toes by dissing them," said Hillary by cell phone as she walked down a sidewalk watching where she stepped very carefully.
"The trick is we have several spotters walking in front of me, to my sides and near my rear. That way we can be sure to see them before we start squashing them. Of course I wore high heels because I figure there is less surface on these shoes to hit someone, but lord knows my feet will pay a price by tonight!"
As Clinton cleared the city limits of Des Moine on a county road, the worst thing that could happen, happened, she broke a heel and took a nasty fall.
"Somebody call 911, she just smashed about 100 little people!" screamed someone.
Sirens from tiny ambulances, almost too high for regular sized human ears surreally filled the air. Then in the far away distance louder regular sounding sirens blared their warnings. Clinton aids with magnifying glasses frantically searched around Mrs. Clinton.
"Did I hurt anyone? Did I hurt any one?" cried the former Secretary of State as she carefully stood up with assistance.
"Casualties! Casualties!" cried over a hundred little voices, "the behemoth smashed us with thy buttocks!" Just then full sized ambulances arrived, "RUN! Run! The steam rollers cometh!!" Thousands of little people fled into the ditch along the side of the road, leaving the Clinton Camp without the meeting Hillary had hoped for.
"Well," said Hillary holding one shoe, "At least I've tried, how many of the Republicans have gone to this length to meet the little people? Our work is done here people!" said a fist pumping Clinton spinning and marching triumphantly back towards Des Moine.